


I don't know what you're talking about

by kitkatsnow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:41:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22029499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatsnow/pseuds/kitkatsnow
Summary: Castiel is hurt and Dean and Sam help him the only way they can, by being there for him.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester
Kudos: 6





	I don't know what you're talking about

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Supernatural, Castiel Novak, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, the Bunker, or the ability to write fics at a decent hour (or edit them)
> 
> This was written at an ungodly hour last year and has not been edited since, but I think it's best if I stop pretending that I'm going to actually edit this properly.  
> Maybe posting it will somehow pressure me into it?
> 
> I cannot believe I have to say this, but I do not want this to be used on an app that makes revenue in any sort of way (e.g. ads, a subscription service).

"No! Stop!" The voice echoed down the hall as Dean burst into the room, searching for the monster. He only found Cas gripping his sheets tightly, his face twisted into a knot. Dean crept over to the angel, still wary.  
"Cas? Cas, hey, it's me, Dean." He gently shook the angel's flexed shoulder. The angel's eyes fluttered and he released his sheets.  
"Dean? What are you doing in here?"  
"You sounded like you needed some help."  
"I don't know what you're talking about." The angel rolled over, giving his jaw a good workout.  
"Okay, well. Hollar if you need anything." Dean met Sam's concerned eyes with a shrug and headed back to bed.  
'Great, now I've done it,' Cas thought, "Now they'll demand to know what's wrong. I can't let that happen.'

The next morning, Dean woke to coffee and an omelette on a tray beside him and Sam in the doorway.  
"Whassis?" Dean mumbled, sleep still clouding his eyes.  
"Dude, have you seen Cas?" Dean sat straight up, all but the last specks of sleep gone in the blink of an eye.  
"No, why?"  
"He's gone."  
"Did you check his room?"  
"Yes, Dean."  
"I'm sure he'll pop up eventually."  
"I'm not so sure, Dean. He left a note saying he had some angel business to attend to and to not look for him, he'd be back."  
"Dammit, Cas." Dean started getting dressed to go hunt down his friend.  
"Dude, hold on. I mean, maybe this time we should trust Cas knows what he'd doing. We've got bigger fish to fry. Apocalypse 2.0 ring any bells?" Dean sighed and sat back in bed.  
"Fine. But if he's not back in two weeks-"  
"Agreed."

Well, a lot can happen in two weeks, including five changes in ruler of Hell, 3 major battles among the angels, and 7 near-death-but-saved-by-a-reaper experiences. It was another month before Dean woke to a bloody and bruised Cas on the kitchen counter.  
"Sammy!" Dean just stared, not believing his eyes.  
"What- oh, dude." Sam tried to remove a feather from Cas's face before it became a part of the scab covering half his face and neck, still oozing blood where it had cracked. Cas winced, and Sam let it go. After a minute or possibly 20, Dean carried Cas to his room and set up shop in the chair next to hi,.  
"Hey, how's he doing?"  
"'Bout the same as the last five times you asked." Dean feigned apathy, quite poorly.  
"So, get this, there's no trace of Poaul. It's like he dissappeared." Cas gripped his sheets and winced. A scab on his knuckles cracked and bled, causing Cas to grip the sheets tighter. Dean gently smoothed Cas's hair, what part wasn't matted with blood and dirt. 

"Dean?" Dean's eyes fluttered open before looking down at his best friend.  
"Yes?" Cas simply smiled and closed his eyes again.

It was several more days before Cas would say anything more than a few grunts, like "mmhmm" and "nuh-uh."  
"Dean?"  
"Yeah, bud?" Dean tried to hide his smile as he sponged the wounds on Cas's chest. God knows he had a pathetic immune system.  
"Thanks." Cas went back to staring at the ceiling.  
"Hey, Cas?"  
"Hmm?" Cas turned his head slightly so he could see Dean out of the corner of his eye.  
"Do you- would you-" Dean fidgeted, remembering how it was the last time he asked for details from the angel before they were offered. "What happened, dude?" He saw Cas's eyes glaze over. "I mean, you were gone for so long and without warning and..." Dean trailed off.  
Cas gripped the sheets, and Dean knew the conversation was over.

Finally, Gabriel came to visit.  
"Hey, Sammy-boy. Where's my little bro?" Sam rolled his eyes but lead the angel to Cas, too tired to fight the flamboyant, ancient child.  
Gabrield gasped when he saw his brother. Cas was staring at the ceiling, clutching his sheets, still covered in blood. That's not what horrified Gabriel, though.  
"Your wings! Oh, my baby bro-" Gabriel dropped the feigned apahty for a moment to gently soothe Cas's feathers.  
"What? What's wrong with his wings?" Dean asked, standing. Blood trickled from Cas's hands to towels directly below his knuckles. Gabriel touched Dean's eyes, and suddenly he saw. Cas's wings were bloody and probably broken, but worse, they had been clipped. Dean felt his hands clench.  
"Who did this?" he snarled, and Cas's knuckles bled large drops of blood, forming pools on the already soaked towel, blood splashing onto the carpet with every drop.  
"It's okay baby bro, I'm here." Gabriel soothed Cas's wings, healing what he could. "It's okay, everything's okay." Gabriel said, gently washing the blood off of Cas's wings. Dean relaxed a little, still on edge at seeing his friend so hurt. Sam came in to give Dean a break.  
Gabriel leaned against the door frame of the kitchen.  
"Dean, don't push Cas to tell you. Just know if he does, you cannot get angry or hurt him."  
"I would never-" Gabriel sighed, and vanished.

It was a year, 300 nights spent with at least one Winchester in Cas's twin-size bed, before Cas talked.  
"No! Stop!" Dean gently smoothed Cas's hair, taking the coffee pot and setting it on the counter.  
"Stop what, baby?" Dead had found it was one of the few names that helped Cas calm down. Cas buried his face in Dean's shoulder, wrapping his wings around them protectively.  
"Thank you, Dean." a phrase said a hundred times a day, each as honest and meaningful as the last.  
"Anytime, buddy." Dean pet Cas's hair, another calming trick Gabriel had taught him.  
"No, Dean, you don't understand."  
"You're right, but I don't have to. You're my friend." Cas burrowed his face as far as he could into Dean's shoulder.  
"I still remember. I try to forget. I've asked every angel, witch, demon, even Crowley and Death to make me forget it. But I can't. And I can't control them or stop them like I could before." Cas lowered his voice to a barely coherent mumble, talking into Dean's shirt as if it would keep his darkest secrets safe from the world, keep Dean safe. "They just bubble up. Sometimes it makes sense, like that time you called me 'Castiel' because that's what they called me and you don't call me that. Sometimes it doesn't like just now." Dean smoothed Cas's hair, taking deep breaths. Cas held on to Dean as if Dean was a live preserver/ personal flotation device in the midst of a storm.  
Cas took another shaky breath before continuing. "Sometimes, all I can taste are fish, or I hear the whips, or I feel a hand on my throat, or smell daisies." Dean took a deep breath, smoothing Cas's wings, the soft feathers calming his nerves. "Sometimes, I just feel really scared or angry. I don't understand why they did that stuff. They hurt me until I said yes and then they hurt me anyway."  
Cas rubbed the bottom of his neck and collar bones. " thought making them go away would make the memories go away, like it did when Lucifer was put in the cage. I still don't understand what I did to cause it. But if they're gone they can't hut anyone else. Right?" Dean just held Cas, letting the angel put his weight against Dean. Cas's breath slowed, and Dean just smoothed Cas's hair before carrying him to bed.  
"It'll be okay. You're safe now. I'll do whatever I can to protect you. I love you." Cas smiled, the first time Dean had seen him so at peace since the angel showed up bloody and broken almost a year ago. He turned to leave, but Cas grabbed his hand.  
"Please," Cas's chest stopped its calm rhythm of a moment ago, instead choosing one that was erratic and painful. Dean sat in the bed next to Cas before laying down and tucking them both in.  
"Thank you, Dean." Cas curled against Dean.  
"Of course, Cas." Dean held Cas close and gently rubbed his back.


End file.
